A few mos ago, I wrote a blog about the end of the world predictions, and how they piss me off. In it, I mentioned Nostradamus’ predictions, and how they too, piss me off.

This entry, unlike that one, is going to be completely devoted to my loathing for Nostradamus.

:clears throat: Lets get started.

Ok, so I suppose my hatred comes from the fact that, as a child, my mother watched those programs – like, a lot. And if it wasn’t bad enuff to watch them, she sometimes half-cocked bought into them. I remember this one where he claimed Florida would be under water by the year 2000. And, when the year 2000 came and went, no water flooded my home. My mother was ready to move out of Florida, due to that prediction… saying things like “We need to move by the year 2000” And I know what ur gonna say… maybe she was mocking it? Nope, she was serious.

As a child, those shows scared the HELL out of me. Not just on their own, but here was my mom, who believed in it… adding levity to the terror. Also, imagine how angry I was at 23 when this medieval boogeyman was fucking wrong! (well, relieved, as well as bent, anyway) And Ive come to regard any prophecy about anything the same damn way.

As far as Nostradamus’ abilities goes, do I believe its a big fat joke? Well yes and no. I believe in psychic ability… I believe that some things can be prophecized. But the thing about him that gets my goat, is how utterly VAGUE he was in his predictions… writing them out in poetic symbology, so that they could apply to many things. It is easy enuff to look at his cockamamey predictions and say he was right about this, that or the other… especially, when he spins imagery that can apply nearly anywhere. And those shows never tell about all his failures (like Florida being underwater by the year 2000, for example)

See, watch… I can do it too….

A great fiery ball will rise in the sky on the morrow… to be be followed by a white circle of light all will see, then all the land will fall dark.

Sounds scary, doesn’t it? Like oh shit, a meteor is gonna hit, nuclear war or something awful like that!

I just prophecized sunrise and nightfall. Ooooo, I’m psychic!

And this how people like THAT get away with calling themselves prophets. They do what we like to call “cold reading” in fortune telling; that being, calling on vague things that could easily come to pass, or using inane symbology to describe stuff that would easily fit into many situations, so you go WOW, that shit was accurate! When it was really fake, and spewed from a phony fortune teller.

Its also easy enuff to predict something bad will eventually happen, as its inevitable. Eventually, a meteor will hit the earth… eventually, a massive earthquake (like a 10 on the richter) will happen. War will happen, coz human beings are violent scum. And yes, eventually… Florida will be under water (eventually? it already is, u quack, considering ITS SWAMP LAND!) Even… eventually, the world will end…. eventually, the sun will die…. etc, etc on down the line. These aren’t questions of IF… they are questions of WHEN. That anyone with an iota of schooling could easily surmise with stunning accuracy. I suppose its true that people in medieval times didn’t have the tech and schooling we do now – but remember, these were geniuses, who saw the world differently, and who changed the way of thinking. They were ahead of their time, obviously…. but that doesn’t make the propechies any more accurate. Just makes the science and inevitability behind them, real.

Besides… if your predictions weren’t set to occur until thousands of years later, I think you’ve left yourself plenty of time to be dead before you’re discovered to be a fake. You’ve left yourself an abyssal opening for that shit to come to pass. Give me a date, like soon, and really impress me :eye roll: (and if you utter the words Mayan Calendar, I might just slap ya lol) We shall see if they are right (so far, in thousands of years, no one has been)

Last but not least… why are these predictions always ominous in nature? Always foretelling death, darkness and destruction. Why don’t they EVER foretell peace, love and happiness? Coz that crap isn’t any fun, I guess… at least, not as much as terrifying the masses is.

So do us all a favor, media. Quit televising that bullshit. Its not entertaining…. its scaring the children for no good reason at all.

That is all I have to say about that.