02.05
So, I’ve thought about the Zombie thing a lot lately, being that I watched Zombieland (for the hundredth time) as well as Resident Evil: Afterlife for the second time. I have some serious questions regarding the plausibility of this disorder. In fact, so much, that I’d rather believe in the tooth fairy…. or Santa Claus.
1: If zombies are mindless, how can they have the cognizance to chase their prey – and not just chase them, but chase them by cleverly figuring out ways to infiltrate man-made things. I know that some animals are clever… but they have fully functioning brains.
2: What about the Zombie virus causes Zombies to want to eat human flesh? It cannot be primal instinct — its not in nature to eat one’s own kind – not even animals do it for the most part. So it must be viral. But why human flesh only? And not just flesh in general. And why human brains? Not just brains in general?
3: Why don’t Zombies turn on each other and eat themselves, if they want meat? Arguably, you can say, well they want FRESH meat — but if that were the case, medically speaking, flesh takes 3 to 5 hours to start to decompose, which is enuff time for them to get eaten by their own brethren as soon as they were turned by other Zombies, thus killing off themselves before they can even become mindless, limping maneaters.
4: Again, going back the mindless thing…. if they are all duh…. how the hell do they know when a Zombie is a Zombie, and a human is a human (enuff not to eat their own kind) Even if they can smell, their dumb broken brains wouldn’t know dead meat from live.
5: Zombies are sposed to have a lack of motor skills – like to climb trees. I would presume its part of them being stupid and shit. Yet, you see them wielding weapons (as in the case of Resident Evil) or even climbing amusement park rides.
6: If they are “dead” how do they walk? What keeps them going, without blood circulation? And how do their muscles not atrophy without blood circulation? Without muscles, you can’t walk… without blood you can’t have muscles.
7: Going one further on the last – Same thing with mastication, so they couldn’t FEED on shit. Look at people who are catatonic or otherwise, comatose – they can’t eat on their own… they have to intravenously.
So… in close… I call bullshit on Zombie-ism.