When I speak of Florida, people (who are never actually FROM Australia, nor have any real idea about Florida) are always postulating to me, saying “You think that’s bad, you should see Australia!” As if it were some kind of competition. But well…. if we are going to postulate….  if u cant beat em, might as well join them.

The thing that people don’t realize is that, Florida is just as treacherous. In some ways, maybe even worse. The number one spot being right where I live – out in the Everglades. This isn’t an attempt to one-up Australia, but rather educate people on the differences and make people realize…. they’re not impressing me with their unruly misconceptions. I was raised in the bayou.

And just so you know, this was researched and fact checked, for accuracy.

So lets start from the top.

Shark attacks: People will always boast like Australia has the most shark attacks. But you would be dead wrong. Florida has the highest number per year, since we have quite a number of aggressive species, including hammerheads, tiger sharks, blacktips among others. Oh but Australia has great whites!!! So do we. While they may not be as frequent, they do come here more than you might realize.

Quick fact: If you swim in Florida’s ocean, you are swimming with sharks. Always. Most of the time, they are nurse sharks… which are a very docile reef species. But that isn’t to say there aren’t others present.

Since I started with fish, Ill continue on….

Australia has the box jellyfish. So do we. And other jellyfish species. And Portugese manowars.

We also have all types of rays (including the sting ray, and manta rays, the latter which is not really aggressive) lionfish, stone fish, blue ringed octopi, moray eels, banded sea snakes, marlins, barracuda and all kinds of other fish you want to stay the hell away from.

Quick fact: Ive been stung by sting rays…. I also got stung in the ass by a jellyfish. I’ve swam thru a school of barracuda as well.

We have gators, and Australia doesn’t. I usually then get “You might have gators, but Australia has crocodiles!” LOL So do we. We have the American croc, as well as Nile crocs (which aren’t native, naturally, but we still have them) Saltwater crocs have also been found.

Quick fact: Ive swam with crocs before, in the keys.

Quick fact: The difference between a Florida native and not- Floridians call em gators. Floridians also aren’t afraid of them.

As far as raptors go, we have em all, from vultures to eagles, owls, hawks and more… and Australia has the type of climate that possibly has most of them too. So Im not gonna bother with birds… fact is, they fly, they migrate…. so a lot of places could boast that. And if you’re lucky, you can actually see them here in action… swooping down and grabbing something from the ground or water. We even had a hawk living in our backyard tree that would prey on the numerous ducks that live in my neighborhood.

We also both have our fair share of bats, as well as fox. We have wolves and the occasional hyena (the latter which are probably the result of breeding or escapees from captivity) while Australia has dingoes (wild dogs that are similar, but far less aggressive than those two)

Venomous snakes- We have 6 different types of venomous snakes. Australia has the most venomous of them all – the inland taipan (one of my faves, actually) but we have copperheads, cottonmouths (aka water moccasins), coral snakes, Eastern diamondback, timber and dusky pigmy rattlesnake. Besides venomous snakes, we have all types of others, including the burmese python (which have been introduced via breeders into the Everglades, and has inundated it, to the point of threatening the balance of the ecosystem) as well as anacondas. In fact, there was a story that a burmese ATE a gator (and died after, by bursting) There have also been instances of vipers and cobras (but they are not native)

Quick fact: There have been more snake bites that have occurred in Florida than Australia. This is due to the fact most native species of Australia tend to be shyer in nature. But you are more likely to die in Australia, as they tend to be more venomous.

Another Quick fact: My old man wanted to be a herpetologist for a time… so we used to go tromping thru the Everglades regularly to catch snakes (and still do, but not to catch snakes these days) He has been bitten by a rattlesnake, and a couple cottonmouths. We also owned an 11 foot burmese python named Pantera…. it ate rabbits.

Spiders- Everyone always says spiders are HUGE in Australia ROFL In the everglades, we have spiders the size of your hand, and bigger. We have a preponderance of Banana spiders (orb weavers) which are not very aggressive… but they grow to be massive in size. They aren’t the only ones, either, that are massive… and some of the others ARE aggressive. We also have black widows, recluses, wolf spiders, jumping spiders and more. In the scheme of things, I wouldn’t be that terrified of a huge spider – afterall, you can see them. But the tiny and quite venomous black widow… there’s one to be truly terrified of.

Quick fact: All spiders are venomous – some just lack a mouth sizely enough to bite you.

Another Quick fact: I have no tolerance for spiders, whatsoever. While I will live and let live, if its on my turf and placed where it could hurt someone, a hit is ordered on it. My old man, on the other hand, relishes in taunting and tormenting them lol

Mosquitoes – this is our state bird LMAO!!! Well, you may not think they’re all that dangerous, but they are…. they carry west nile and other similar diseases that cause encephalitis and malaria. And you don’t even have to be in the Everglades for em. They are everywhere… and they are stealthy, quick and hard to kill. Alaskan Mosquitoes by comparison, are lethargic, large in size and easy to kill. We rather liked Alaskan Mosquitoes (if anyone could actually LIKE a mosquito) But mosquitoes are pretty much everywhere.

Fire ants. Not much to say here, except they suck. If you are allergic, you can end up in analphylactic shock. Also, everywhere.

Quick fact: I stepped in an ant pile once… my legs and feet were covered and stung quite badly. Good thing Im not allergic.

Scorpions – not horribly venomous ones, but they still hurt when they sting (and can make u pretty ill)

Quick fact: I love scorpions…. Ive always wanted a Black Emperor

Wasps. Bees, which arent that bad… but oh, we have africanized honey bees. They are vicious hybrids the govt bred and will chase your ass down for miles, just to sting you. And they attack in a swarm…. so they ALL sting you, sometimes, to death.

Quick fact: Bee charming is prominent in my family. Ive been stung only once by a bee, and only coz I stepped on it as a toddler. I’ve only been stung by a wasp once, and only coz it was caught in my hair. I have a crapload of wasps on my house at any given time… and they have often landed on me, or flew in my general vicinity… but they never sting me. I have a fascination for Wasps… I think they are pretty cool creatures.

Saddleback caterpillars: These are cute little fuzzy caterpillars that turn into butterflies eventually. If you touch one, you will know it. It burns worse than anything you’ve ever felt (even fire)

Quick fact: My old man and I have both been stung by saddlebacks more times than I can count.

We also both have horseflies (which hurt like hell when they bite you) and locusts.

What Australia DOESN’T have –
We have quite a large population of black bears. Yeah, well Australia has cute koalas but they don’t count (coz I know they’re not REALLY A bear – its just the closest in comparison…. and yes, they can be mean… but would you take on that or a black bear? The choice isn’t a hard one)

The Florida Panther – There is no stealthier killing machine, than a large cat. The Florida Panther is a type of cougar or mountain lion that’s at the top of the food chain here in Florida. They are an endangered species, due to poaching.

Quick fact: The Florida Panther can take out a gator, EASY.

The Bermuda Triangle – A spot where planes and boats have both gone missing more than once. Why, is a mystery. There are plenty of theories ranging from Aliens, to magnetic interference, as well as black holes.

Quick fact: Ive been in both the Bermuda triangle here and the one in Alaska – on boats and in planes.

Lets move onto climate–
Hurricanes – Ohhh, yes… we are the hurricane state. You may not think they’re that bad, but go thru one and see if that changes your tune. If unto themselves, they aren’t bad enuff, think of it this way – each hurricane spawns tornadoes. Its the best of both worlds! Sure, Australia sees its fair share of tropical cyclones, but not nearly as often as Florida.

That said, we don’t have Earthquakes here. We do have fault lines, so there is always the chance… but so far, nothing, really.

Lightning strikes – Florida is the lightning strike capital of the United States (as touted in the Guiness world book of records… I own a copy) The only place anywhere, to beat it, is Rwanda, Africa.

Quick fact: Floridians are DEATHLY afraid of lightning, by nature. We are so afraid of it, most of the populous won’t do anything in water during storms. But that said, we are way more unafraid about getting wet in a storm, than other people. Since it rains so frequently here (we are practically a rainforest) we are just used to rain.

The climate is nearly similar, otherwise. We are both really hot places, with tropical climate. The exception is that obviously, part of Australia is desert…. we don’t have desert, we are swamp land. It also NEVER snows in Florida. It snowed once in Miami in the 1970s. You can get flurries in North Florida, tho.

And the number one deadliest thing Florida has that Australia doesn’t? LIBERTY CITY. Its a city in Miami that is pretty much as ghetto as they come…. you can get shot here in broad daylight. I would take on all those animals before Liberty city lol (but we always at least, take a gun) The crime rate is also higher in Florida, and we have Zombies LOL

One thing Ive always found fascinating about Australia, is the marsupials. It DOES have the largest, most intriguing number of species that don’t live anywhere else. And I often wondered why they only inhabit Australia natively.

So, in the end, you see that BOTH places are quite treacherous – and I wouldn’t say either one is more than the other. They just are in different ways. So plz don’t be one of those ppl that try to one up me with their Australia is worse credo…. next time you’re in Florida, Ill take your ass swampin’ and laff the whole time 😉